3 Mindsets Sabotaging your Success in Real Estate
Mindset: “the established set of attitudes held by someone.” How could a mindset be dangerous, I mean, it’s not like its affecting anything right?
When driving down the highway, I cruise on over to the second to the left lane ready for a long commute to work. I have my music on, the morning so far is going pretty good. Then, out of nowhere this red SUV cuts in front of me and slams on his breaks! My immediate response is anger. How DARE you cut me off – the nerve of this guy. I proceed to swerve around him angrily effectively cutting someone else off.
My mindset here is that people are intentionally doing things TO me. The only reason the jerk in the big, red, SUV cut me off was to just have his way – because he simply could and looks for opportunities to be rude. I took his actions personally, when in reality, he was just trying to cruise over to my lane too and avoid the near crash over to the right of him.
We all operate out of mindsets every day. They are shaped by our beliefs, values, and experiences. Those same mindsets then shape our actions and make or break our success in real estate.
To change a particular mindset, it takes:
Willpower + Knowledge of your current mindset + a healthy mindset you are moving into + a plan of attack = life change.
Oh, and a good dose of humility – can’t forget that one.
3 Mindsets That Need to Change
“I’ve always done it this way.”
Just because something has worked relatively well for a long time, doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way of doing things. Like using an old lawn mower – yes, it works, but there is a MUCH easier/better tool you can use. If you knew there was something better for you out there, wouldn’t you want to take advantage of it?
This mindset is also identified as the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality. It’s a mix of comfortability in familiar surroundings, fear of new things, and pride that you know it all and never have to learn anything new again.
This is not just for those that have been in the real estate industry for 20+ years, it applies to the new up and coming professionals as well. It happens to anyone who gets in a comfortable routine, sees some sales, and feels like they have “arrived”. They have ______ years of experience and ___________ reasons why they don’t need to change.
Granted, there are some tried and true methods people find that will always work great. This does not mean however that learning and education and trying new things completely gets thrown out the window.
This mentality runs the danger of only staying in the “good enough” lane. While “good enough” may sustain what you’ve already achieved, it will always just stay “good enough”. There is a small part that’s rooted in fear of failure that is actually crippling if you continue – because the longer you don’t adapt to this ever changing and evolving world, the wider the gap gets between you and your buyers.
The move to the “Best” lane requires growth, adoption of new strategies and technology, and the willingness to embrace new things. Step out and try something new – everyone needs a little adventure in their life.
“That may work for them, but I’ll never be that way.”
There is such a thing as knowing your limitations – like how your friend might be 6’4 and you are 5’4 – I’m sorry, you probably won’t ever be able to dunk that basketball..
I’m not referring to our strengths and weaknesses, what I’m getting at is a lack of self-worth.
Everyone has a way they view themselves. This negative viewpoint is essentially saying, “I’m not good enough to do __________.” Or “I don’t have what it takes to ______________.”
It’s a bunch of bologna, don’t believe it!
As with any mindset, this one has been shaped by past experiences and messages we have received all our lives.
A good way to tell if you have this mindset is if you think about doing something risky and challenging and you find a bunch of reasons to talk yourself out of it – i.e. “It’ll never work…” This can also come from past times of failure, which has shaped your view that you can’t do something worthy of greatness.
Although I can’t give you worth, you’ll have to find that on your own – a good step in the right direction is to start implementing positive self-talk. Thoughts like, “I can do this!” and “I’ve got what it takes!” seriously does wonders.
Surround yourself with people who think and act positively – you know the ones, they are encouraging and fun and laugh a lot – they will be a big support system.
See, our brain has this wonderful thing called Neuroplasticity, basically meaning our brain has the capability of re-wiring itself. By thinking positively and refusing to think negative thoughts, you can literally re-wire your brain. When you think differently, you act differently – simple as that.
“I would be able to _______________ if it weren’t for _______________.”
This is where that thing called humility comes in handy. It’s hard to admit you aren’t taking personal responsibility for your actions.
How can you tell if you are casting the blame on someone else?
When you blame something or someone other than yourself for problems and mistakes over and over again. It becomes a lifestyle. It’s called having a victim mentality.
This is where I dish on some tough love.
In a way, everyone has done this at one point or another – I know I have. You didn’t turn in the report on time and now your coworker is behind, effectively sending them in the doghouse. When confronted, we say, “It’s not my fault! ____________ and ____________ happened.”
I was definitely in this downward spiral earlier in my life. It’s holding you back and keeping you from your potential. You see, when you believe that everything bad that happens to you was caused by someone or something else, you never take ownership of your life. It’s humbling to own up to a mistake you made.
It’s also a sign of maturity.
When we can face the fact that we alone create the world around us and have control over our lives, then we start acting in ways that reinforce that. We start making choices that say, “I’m going somewhere in this world – try and stop me!” and a funny thing happens, we start going somewhere!
In my own life, I know that if I’m late, it’s not traffic’s fault, it’s my own for not waking up on time. So next time, I wake up earlier. A victim doesn’t think this way – they blame their choices on the circumstances around them, then keep doing what they have been doing.
You also have to come to a point where it’s ok to fail. For all my recovering perfectionists out there (me included), I am giving you permission to just be a human. You WILL fail sometimes.
Low self-worth also plays a role in this one. For me, I couldn’t stand it if someone found fault in me – so I would do everything I could to show them it WAS NOT my fault. It took me a long time to see that criticism was not personal. It can actually be really helpful to fine tune things.
You can put this behind you – once you start taking more responsibility for your life you will start noticing yourself making subtle changes in your life where YOU create the world around you and not the other way around.
With all of these mindsets, you could have none of them or all of them in different levels. Getting rid of them is just a matter of implementing better habits and ways of thinking in your life. Once those positive thinking patterns are in place, you will act out of them. How do you think top producers think about themselves and the world around them? I can tell you this – it’s not “I can’t do this” or “If only _______ didn’t happen” – try “See if you can stop me!” and “I got this.” It makes a big difference friends.